Sunday 6 July 2008

Women Watch Porn To Please Men?

www.smh.com.au
Porn is everywhere you look. In magazines, on TV and bellowing out on billboards in Times Square (Jenna Jameson owns one that's three-stories high, which makes her double Ds look the size of a small plane!). Yet when a staggering survey revealed that one in three Aussie women regularly watch porn, the blokes were aghast.

"Surely this isn't so?" they wondered with glee.

"Surely women are opposed to our obsession with it, hence our need to hide our video tapes and internet download usage from them at all possible times?"

Especially considering when Kinsey wrote his famous sex report in 1953, female fans of porn were largely absent. But it seems not anymore, with an Elle/MSNBC.com poll discovering that alongside us Aussie gals, a whopping 41 per cent of women in the US have viewed or downloaded erotic films or photos ...

So what's going on? Why the sudden shift?

Some view this newfound sense of sexual freedom as a by-product of the rise of porn star as the new "it" female profession. Think Hugh Hefner's girlfriends, Kim Kardashian and Denise Richards to name just a few.

As Pamela Paul, author of Pornified: How Porn is Ruining Our Lives, Our Relationships And Our Families writes: "Popular culture promotes the wild fun and whimsy of the girl who loves pornography." She goes on to explain that thanks to pop culture, porn popular culture tells us that women who watch porn are fun, whimsy and celebrities. There's Carmen Electra on MTV, Pamela Anderson on everything and even Kate Hudson admitting she's a fan of striptease and a gym workout.

And while many might argue that by taking it all off, these ladies have lost all cred, tact and yet gained a few male fans along the way, it seems more and more brave femmes aren't scared to expand their sexual repertoire in more ways than one.

Whether it be learning to striptease, getting more risky in the bedroom or viewing a little bit of titillating material online in hope of spicing things up in the bedroom, one thing is for sure: women no longer seem to be afraid to embrace their sexual side. Add to that the staggering 900 sex shops that are currently opening their doors daily in Australia, (that's up from 500 in 2003) and it's simple to see why more and more Aussie gals are getting more satisfied each day.

The trouble of course, is that while some women don't mind a bit of male-orientated action, others are completely adverse to the types of things they see being played out which they reckon is more degrading than empowering.

The infamous "Girl with a one track mind" sex blogger concurs. She says that while erotica and porn are great for stimulation, by her reckoning women have a duty to control it. "I like porn," she told The Guardian newspaper. "But I think we need to take control of it as women, and make better porn."

In other words perhaps what we need is more foreplay, more romance, more kissing after sex and more (gasp!) story line ... now wouldn't that be porn that women would want to see ...

What do you think? Do women like/hate porn? Is it trendy? Is porn more geared towards men?

And... why do men like hookers? This week's question comes from reader Milfred. She writes ...

"What is so great about hookers? I found out that my husband was cheating on me with prostitutes. He had a massive problem and couldn't stop going to them. We had a very dizzy, romantic courting with a beautiful wedding and honeymoon. Soon after I could feel him becoming more and more distant and he would regularly go out for 'work drinks'. I trusted him completely, even though it upset me that I was not included and he would return home in the early hours of the morning.

"We have been to a councilor, who urged me to put it behind me. Leave it in the past, as he thought my husband was making all the right steps to change. Easier said than done.

"I get really frustrated and angry that it's this big shameful secret and I'm not allowed to know any details. Also he always seems to be too tired for me sexually. I feel rejected. I'm a beautiful intelligent woman and I would leave him if we didn't have children. It does my head in. The worst thing is the feeling that I don't know something that these women do.

"What am I missing? It makes me feel inferior, and his old obsession has become mine. It plagues my mind. Oh, you also need to know, that I have never rejected sex from him, I love sex and seem to have a greater sexual appetite than he. Except now I have stopped trying because I feel like I'm forcing him and he prefers hookers."

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