Debunking A Common Dating Myth

"There are no decent single men/women available."
"I'm going to have to settle because there's no one else out there."
"All the good ones are taken."

If any of these excuses sound familiar, you shouldn't give up on your search for love. You just need to rethink your attachment to the scarcity myth that singles suffer from. How? Participate in the following fun three-week experiment. All you need is an open mind, a few spare minutes each day, and a desire to change your dating karma.


Week #1: Start by making eye contact with someone you find attractive (who you don't know) every day for a week. You can do this in the elevator in your office building, while picking out produce at the grocery store, in line for your morning latte, or in a social setting (bar, party, picnic, etc.). It's not important where you do this exercise, only that you start getting comfortable making eye contact with potential partners.

Week #2: The following week, make eye contact and smile at at least one person you find attractive every day.

Chances are good that you'll get a smile back. It doesn't have to go any further than that (don't expect him/her to ask for your digits). This is simply an exercise in getting comfortable engaging potential partners. Short on time? Suggested locations to smile and make eye contact on the go include the gym, while stuck in traffic, picking up your dry cleaning, or while grabbing a quick bite out of the office.

Week #3: During the third week of this exercise, make eye contact, smile, and make small talk with at least one person you find attractive every day. If the idea of small talk gets you tongue-tied, relax. Start simply and slowly. Remember, this doesn't have to be rocket science. You don't have to think of the wittiest conversation-starter ever. The goal is to just get the ball rolling. Potential conversation-starters can be as simple as:Hi. (Seriously, that counts!)

How's your day going?

I dig your shoes/tie/suit/dress. Where'd you get them/it?

Once you've opened up the conversation, don't look away. Maintain eye contact, smile, and wait for his/her response. If it invites additional conversation, great! If not, your job for the day is done and you can move on. If for some reason, the object of your attention is rude or dismissive, don't take it personally.


“Rejection is part of the dating process.”
Rejection is part of the dating process. Chalk it up to experience, let go, and try again tomorrow.The point of this exercise is to debunk the scarcity myth by showing yourself that there's actually an abundance of potential partners in your everyday life. They may not always be interested, they may not always be available, but by getting into the practice of noticing and acknowledging them, you're more likely to spot the ones who are interested and available when they present themselves to you.


Now, if your routine goes something like this: home, work, gym, home, then you've got to shake things up. At least once a week from now on, break with routine and put yourself in a target-rich environment. Suggested activities include:

1. Stop by the bookstore after work and browse a topic of interest while keeping your eye out for any cuties.

2. You can also recruit your pals for an after work drink at a local hotspot. In addition to hanging with your buddies, scope out the scene for potential partners.

3. Do some research for a fun singles' activity, i.e. online dating, speed dating, a networking mixer, or Sierra Club hike and go for it. Find a cause near and dear to your heart and volunteer on a Saturday or Sunday. You never know who you'll meet!


These are just some of the suggested activities you should engage in. Remember, the goal is not necessarily to score a date, but to get you out of your monotonous routine that may be keeping you from meeting potential partners. The more you put yourself in target-rich environments and get comfortable talking to strangers, the better.

Good luck and happy dating!

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How To Meet People Online

Although young, I have to admit that I have met quite a large number of people online. Most of them are friends, but a couple turned into something a little more intimate and I've been dating one of them for nearly two years now – next month we're moving in together!

Now this is not a guide for anyone who's already met people from the internet. I doubt I have anything stunningly new to point out to someone who's already a seasoned cyber-chatter, but for the beginner who's only just discovered the wonderful world of online dating for adults this should give you an idea of some of the places there are, how you can get chatting, how and when to develop the relationship and meeting up in person.

Firstly let's have a look at the various ways of meeting people.

1- The online forum.

This is a good way to start off and you've already found a website where you can start off, for example Literotica has an excellent forum where you can chat with others about writing and all things erotic.

The basic idea of a forum is a community based on a common hobby, belief or interest. Whatever you're into, there's probably a forum out there for you. This is one of the main benefits of a forum – you've already got one thing in common with everyone on there. What a great place to start.

Secondly there's the fact that it's very flexible and totally anonymous. You generally have to register with the site, but you can create an online alter-ego and there's no need for a photograph or any identifying element.

Forums work by having a series of topics (ie- on a cookery site, appetisers, starters, main courses etc) and each of these contains individual conversations or 'threads' started by one of the members (ie- 'anyone know how long to cook a whole chicken?')

Other members can then reply to this thread with their ideas and opinions and there's no time constraint on replying – no-one will get cross if you don't reply immediately.

Forums offer you a chance to talk to a huge number of people about a huge number of things with no pressure. If you want to talk more to someone then you can send them a private message.

2- The mailing list

This has a similar community feel as a forum, but instead of you going to the website to talk, the talk comes to you.

Again mailing lists are based on a common hobby etc, and different topics are divided up by having different e-mail topics.

There are various places where you can sign up for a mailing list, yahoo has one of the most popular with a huge variety of categories. Once you are signed up you will start getting e-mails from the list, for instance if the list you signed up to was called rockmusicuk then that's the sender who will appear in the list of e-mails.

If you reply to this e-mail then that will be sent out to everybody on the list, including you. If you want to start a new topic, then instead of replying to previous e-mails, you simply send a new e-mail to the list's e-mail address.

With me so far?

The downside of this is that your e-mail address will be displayed to those on the list, but if you want to retain your anonymity for the time-being, just set up a new account with a free e-mail server, like hotmail or googlemail.

3- Friendship or Adult Dating Websites

Right, now we come to the crux of the matter.

I've met people through both the other methods, but this is where the mice are divided from the men.

Many of these websites charge you a small amount in order to join, but there are several very good free ones which I'd recommend for a beginner. I've been using such sites for seven years and I still only use the free ones, so don't dismiss them as a long-term solution.

Right, now the hows, whys and wherefores.

Dating sites rely on each member creating an individual profile and then browsing other profiles to find someone they want to talk to. This has several obvious up and down –sides.

The ups first.

Obviously you've tailored your profile so it gives a much clearer picture of you and so has everyone else. This means that you're basing any friendship (or more) on a larger number of things than just the one hobby in common. There's also the distinct bonus that everyone on there is actively looking to meet new friends or lovers.

Downsides

These are fairly obvious. Your anonymity is compromised somewhat. I'll get to the specifics of creating a good profile later, but most of them will include at least one picture and that means you can be recognised. Be aware of this. Sod's law (aka Murphy's law) dictates that there's a distinct possibility someone you know will happen across your profile and then you'll be busted. Are you prepared to be outed?

Another downside – you will get messages from freaks and weirdos and foreigners wanting to marry you to get residence in your country. Delete and ignore.

Creating a Profile

Do include a photograph. You may get some messages, but seriously, with a photograph you will probably increase interest by about 10 times.

Rules for photographs.

a) think carefully about what you are looking for. If all you want is sex then a naked/erotic/underwear photograph is obviously the most appropriate. If you want a friend, include photos of you doing the things you love – dancing, skiing, whatever. If you want a partner/lover then include photos of you doing things you love, but also some showing you how you are in downtime – relaxing with a book or by the sea, cuddling a dog, whatever you think is appealing really.

b) Don't include any identifying information. Check carefully for streetnames if it's taken near your home, addressed envelopes, car registration plates, university name/logo, workplace or full name.

c) Do include more than one picture. This gives a much clearer picture of how you look. It's all very well including flattering photos, but do you really want to meet someone in person and have them go 'Ugh!'? Be honest right from the start and you won't get hurt by rejection later.

Rules for personal information.

a) If you use your real name, make sure it's first name only.

b) Be reasonably general about your location. Give the name of the nearest large town, for example, rather than the tiny place of about 2,000 inhabitants where you really live.

c) Be very specific about what you DO and DON'T want. If smoking is a no-no then say so right now. If you're only looking for friends, make it clear and if you're bisexual and only want to meet one gender, then let them know.

d) Do not lie or be vague about important stuff. This includes: children, drugs, smoking, drinking, religion, current marital status, weight and, for some, dietary requirements (such as allergies or veganism). This is not a definitive list, but use your common sense – is there something about you that you or other people feel strongly about? Mention it.

e) Most profiles include a section for some personal notes where you can write a bit about yourself that might not be included in the set questions. This is your chance to make a mark and display your sense of humour and personality. Do be original, do be funny and try to avoid any contentious statements. Here might also be the place to list any specific requirements you have, such as a man who likes cats or a girl who is educated to at least degree level.

f) Personal description: follow the above rules. Be honest. If you're a size 16 then say so – then at least only people who like bigger girls will contact you.

Sending a private message

The initial message is pretty important. Like the personal statement section, this is your chance to display your personality and make an impression. Keep it light, mention something they said which amused or interested you. Make it clear why you messaged them – did you just want to chat, are you bored, are you looking for a friend or a lover or did you want to talk dirty? Don't sound too desperate, don't be too 'wacky', it'll just freak them out if they don't know you and keep it short.

Here's an example of the kind of thing that should elicit a response...

Hey! Just saw your profile and was really interested to see that you liked Douglas Adams – that guy is a genius! Anyways, I'm just hanging around, insomnia is a killer, message me back if you want to chat. So long and thanks for all the fish Vermilion

If you follow all this then hopefully you should meet some people you have things in common with and be able to bulk out your instant messenger list a bit!

Of course, now you've met someone it's not the end; there's still a lot of work to do before you become proper friends and especially before you meet them in person, but that's a story for another day. Watch this space...


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Tips for Coping with the End of a Relationship

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Don't Spoil Adult Friend Finder Profile!

Guys make all sorts of mistakes when writing their own profiles. Stupid mistakes which are incredibly easy to detect and avoid, but they get made every day by most guys. Women read these profiles and assess who they are by what you write. But these blunders get repeated over and over again, sinking most guys like torpedoed boats. That’s alright because it gives guys like you and me a much better chance to Max Adult Finder.

So here’s the beginning of what to look out for. Read this list, then go check our own profile.

By the way, there’s plenty more here on this blog to guarantee your success!

Don’t misspell

Dude, use your spell-check, stick your text in Word and spell-check. Are you a computer idiot? Use a dictionary. Women hate it when men misspell. It shows sloppiness, an inattention to detail. And women like attention to detail - just consider their interest for things like decoration and foreplay. Get it? The two words I see misspelled most often - “independent” and “definitely”.

Avoid clichés

You are not a “hopeless romantic”, a “laid-back guy”, or “just out looking for fun”. Please. It’s been done. stop it already!

Avoid general, generic language

You don’t like walks on the beach, a nice wine with dinner, feel comfortable in jeans and t shirt. Dude - go read some guy sites
and see how often men write the same thing. They are clueless. More importantly, to an attractive woman online, they are the same as all the other… invisible. Instead, be vivid, sensual and suggestive in your details.

Be precise in your language

Say “Chicago Blues” - which is better than “blues”. “Shiraz” is better than “wine”. The Palms is better than “Vegas.” Ribeye steak is better than just steak. Azure is better than blue. Aspen grove is better than forest. The more precisely you can paint the environment of your life, the more tactilely and sensually her imagination will project her into it.

Be dynamic in your language

That means active verbs. Verbs that pack power, action, movement. Avoid static words like “is” “are” and “have” - those are static
verbs. Use dynamic verbs - USE A THESAURUS to make your sentences sizzle, but be careful that you actually know what the words mean before actualy using them. If not you’ll be making them laugh for the wrong reason.

Show, Don’t Tell

Possibly the most important writing rule of all. Don’t list. Don’t talk about. Don’t tell about yourself. Show yourself. If you’re funny, don’t say you’re funny - be funny. If you love your little nephew don’t (cliché) say he’s the “light of my life” - paint a picture of something you and he do together or how he makes you laugh. Show your life, don’t describe it. Write little movie scenes in your profile. She will be drawn into that movie.


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About Profile Name

What do you think when you read someones dating user name? How to get Max Adult Finder, from it? Interesting and unique user names will almost certainly make an impression on you, so should you try and create an unusual and creative user name for yourself? That depends upon your desire to stand out, but it’s certainly worth giving a few moments thought.

The first consideration is: How erotic/ obscene should it be?

For obvious reasons lots of guys, and some of the ladies, like to use names referring to their physical traits (bigwilly8, kingcock12, etc.) or their sexual prowess (sirfuckalot, deepdan, etc.). So is this right for you? In my experience, as someone who’s used and studied Adult Friend Ffinder for several years and had at least 4 different profiles up and running at any given time, it just doesn’t work. If you’re reading this and you already have a profile name like this, all is not lost- you’ll just have to work that much harder. If you haven’t got an Adult Friend Finder membership yet, read on to help you make your decision.

* Do your research

Before you start, take Max Adult Finder and see what user names other people on the site have and check out the format. It really is worth checking out both women and men. Is the user name prominent? Some sites just use first names, some display the headline or tag line most prominently but other display the user name.

* To use your birth year or not

You will often see user names that are created when the user combines their name and year of birth e.g. Jane76 or James1958. There is certainly nothing wrong with this and it may be the safest option if you can’t think of anything else as it certainly won’t offend anyone however it’s not particularly original and you may well find that your particular combination has gone already so don’t be disappointed! Adding other random numbers to your name is an alternative you can try but don’t use your house or phone number for obvious security reasons.

* Should you use your nickname?

If you have a nickname then you could use it but think of the way your readers will interpret it first and make sure you are comfortable with any responses you may get.

* You could use an adjective

Whilst your profile shouldn’t be a list of adjectives (check out my article on profile building: part 1 and part 2) a carefully chosen one for your user name can grab attention. Take a word that people often use to describe you and then look it up in the dictionary or thesaurus to see what alternatives there are. You might find something really interesting or obscure to use. For example, you might be full of fun and life so you could try using animated, spirited, energetic, enthusiastic, vibrant, exuberant, effervescent, vivacious….etc.

* Maybe add a title or a noun to your chosen user name

You could use a title before your user name or you could add a noun such as girl, man or dancer. Use with an adjective or your name for maximum impact, like “mr.confident”, “mrjohn”, “ladiesman”, “adventurous-biker” or “dr.john”.

* Use your favorite character from a book, film or history

If there is a particular character you admire then you could a version in your user name. Just think through how different people might relate to that character though and be sure you are happy with the idea.

* Refer to one of your hobbies or passions

If you like rock climbing or run marathons and you talk about it in your profile then a related user name gives your reader an immediate reason to read on if it’s a sport or hobby they are particularly interested in. (This can be particularly effective when your profile picture is also related to your user name for example if you like to run marathons then you crossing a finishing line could be a great profile picture!

* Always use the first rule of advertising…

Imagine you are your target audience and think about how they will react to your user name and then adjust it accordingly. If you find it difficult to put yourself in their shoes then ask one of your friends whose opinion you trust or try checking it out using a search engine and see what you get! And Get MAX Adult Finder!


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Stay Out from the Competitors

You may think that the most challenging aspect of meeting women on Adult Friend Finder is writing a striking profile or composing the perfect email. In fact, the greatest challenge you are likely to face is stay out from the competitors.

There are many more male members on Adult Friend Finder than female. As a result, most of the women find themselves inundated with winks, messages and friend requests each week. If you want your profile to stand out in this crowd it can’t be merely great – it has to be the best it can be.

Set yourself up for success by scoping out the competition. Discovering other men’s smoothest moves and cleverest lines will ensure that you can always stay ahead of the game. But there’s more to this trick than viewing a few of the popular men’s profiles. If you want to learn how other guys are getting the girls, you have to get them to show you – and that means going undercover.

* Role Play

If you’ve ever wondered how other men get a girl’s attention, it’s time to find out. And the simplest way to do this is to set up a female profile. New women on AFF are inundated with male attention and your make-believe lady will be no different – within a matter of days you will have received enough emails to answer every question you ever had about the competition’s techniques.

* Catch their Eye

Start by finding a suitable photograph. Check out the pictures local women use and try to emulate them. Are they taken at home or in a studio? Are the women fully clothed or naked? If you want your picture to be convincing, follow their lead and opt for something similar. Do ensure that your picture comes from an open source website as reproducing copyrighted photos could land you in legal trouble.

* Writing your Profile

Each Adult Friend Finder profile starts with some basic questions. Ensure that the physical attributes you list match the photograph you have chosen. Beyond that, you can be as imaginative as you like, but you may find writing your longer descriptions easier if your female persona is of a similar age and background to yourself.

When it comes to composing your full profile, do invest some time and energy into it. Look at how real women describe themselves and consider the kinds of information they include. Remember that you are trying to find out how other men respond to genuine women’s profiles, so be thorough - and all this study of women’s profiles will help you with your real profile. By creating hobbies and interests, quirks and opinions for your character you are giving the guys something to work with, and will be able to see exactly how attentive and inventive they can be.

* Consider your Emails

As a new female Adult Friend Finder member, you shouldn’t have long to wait before receiving your first few emails. Take the time to read these messages thoroughly and compare them to your own. What are other men doing better than you and what are they doing worse?

Keep a list of anything the other men get right. If you read a fantastic subject line, note it down. If you come across somebody with an engaging writing style, analyze how well he refers to the profile and what sort of information he gives about himself. Other guys will have great gimmicks that may never have occurred to you, so pay attention and be prepared to steal their good ideas.

On the other hand, a lot of men get it very wrong. Are there subject lines which fail to grab your attention? Are some of the emails too sparse, too sleazy or far too full on? Seeing which mistakes other men are making will allow you to avoid ever doing the same.

* Check yourself Out

Do a search for men in your area and see how your real profile compares. Ask yourself, if a woman was to browse this list, would your profile stand out?

Perhaps the other guys have better photos than you do. If this is the case, get your camera out and get to work. Look at the angles and poses the other men use and don’t be afraid to copy them. Shots taken from just above eye level are often more striking, while a headless torso can seem impersonal and off-putting.

Bear in mind that men at the top of the list have paid for an upgraded membership. If you have to scroll through several pages of eligible guys to find yourself, paying for a better position may be a worthwhile investment.

* Keep it Up

To get the most from this recon mission, don’t delete your female profile right away. The first week your profile is live is likely to be the busiest, but the following few weeks can be valuable when it comes to monitoring the competition.

Some men will wait until the initial rush has died down before contacting you. Ask yourself if an email sent in the second or third week has more impact than those sent straight away.

Other men will continue to chase you for a response. Look at the ways in which they do this. Do they remain polite and inviting, or do some become aggressive?

Plunder other men’s ideas and learn their lessons for them. By continuing to study their best tricks and worst mistakes on a weekly basis, you can ensure that you are always stay out from the competitors.


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Multimedia Features to MAX Adult Friend Finder

Success on Adalt Friend Finder is all about grabbing women’s attention. Now you’ve already read about some of my secrets for MAX Adult Friend Finder, now I’m going to show you how to give your profile real impact by including multimedia.

Most female Adult Friend Finder members receive so many winks and emails every week that they simply don’t have the time to read every word of every profile. If you want to encourage a woman to devour your dense paragraphs and lengthy sentences, give her a reason to pause on your page.

Breaking up the text with several picture galleries may catch her attention, but audio and video files are even more effective. Sounds will intrigue her and moving images are involving. By stimulating her senses in as many different ways as you can, you are ensuring that you get maximum attention.

Audio

Audio files should be short and straightforward.

Recording your own voice can be very effective. Words on a screen are easily overlooked, but the sound of you speaking is not. Hearing your voice will encourage women to view you as a real person and, as a result, to feel a greater sense of connection with you.

When recording yourself, keep your message brief and entertaining. Don’t describe yourself – interested women will go on to read all about you in your profile. Instead, tell a joke. A witty observation will take women by surprise, catching their attention.

If you’re musically inclined, a great alternative to speech is one of your own songs. This will show her your creative side and can be used to create a sexy or romantic mood.

Be very cautious about using songs by other artists. Most work is protected by copyright laws so don’t include anything unless you find it on the band or record company’s own website and the file is marked free for personal use.

Video

Video files should be brief but engaging.

Recording yourself will let women see exactly what you look like and how you move. This may sound intimidating, but girls love noticing the way your eyebrows twitch or you cheeks dimple – showing her the real you will create an instant feeling of connection.

Bear in mind that videos don’t have to be of you. Again, a lot of video files are covered by copyright laws, but increasingly aspiring animators and film makers are making their work available on open source sites. If you find a clip which makes you laugh consider including it in your profile – it will demonstrate your engaging sense of humor.

Do it Right

When including multimedia, whether audio, video or both, there are certain things to remember.

Firstly, update your clips regularly. Most women will refer back to your profile every time they email you; keeping your clips fresh and interesting will help to maintain your appeal.

Secondly, don’t overdo it. A few multimedia files will give your profile greater impact but if you include any more than three files you risk appearing to be a loser. Women assume that attractive, engaging men spend their free time socializing and enjoying their hobbies – don’t give them reason to suspect that you actually spend all evening searching for two minute films on the internet.

Thirdly, don’t include any pornography. AFF may be an adult dating site but it’s not your interest in dirty videos which is going to attract the girls – it’s your personality. Show that you can think about more than just sex by only including clips which hint at the man you are outside the bedroom.

Multimedia files can be a powerful tool for MAX Adult Friend Finder. They give your profile greater impact and encourage women to connect with you on several levels. But don’t make the mistake of relying on them to do all the work. Bear in mind that some women won’t have the appropriate software to see or hear your clip, while others will prefer skim-reading what you’ve written to stopping and watching a film.

Do use audio and visual files, but use them wisely. They may not be a substitute for a well written profile, but they’re certainly a worthwhile enhancement to it.


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What Doing If She Doesn’t Send You Her Number

Every so often you’ll come across a woman who flat out ignores all of your requests for her phone number. This may not seem unreasonable to you. You understand that she doesn’t want to give her personal details to a total stranger, and you think that you can make your plans by email. But believe me: if you cannot get a girl’s phone number, you cannot get her into bed.

Women who won’t give you their phone number will not go through with sleeping with you. A woman who does not feel sufficiently comfortable with you to give you her contact details is not going to feel sufficiently comfortable with you to strip off and screw you.

You may make arrangements by email, but it is highly unlikely that she will turn up. If you are unable to phone her to find out where she is, she will feel free to stand you up. You will find yourself alone in the bar with an empty hotel room charged to your credit card.

So how do you avoid this? Luckily enough I’ve had a few years to test and fine-tune this part of the Adult Friend Finder, so pay attention and get ready to learn how to MAX Adult Finder.

Start off by not despairing. Very few women will give you their number the first time you ask. Some women don’t want to appear too easy, others need a little reassurance that you are in fact the lovely man you seem to be. This is understandable.

However, if you’ve asked for her number two or more times with no success, you are going to have to take action.

The Email
You need to send her a message which addresses the issue head on, but which maintains the sort of light and approachable tone which women find attractive.

Begin your message in the usual way, with a greeting and appreciation for her previous email, but do not waste your time with small talk. By getting straight to the point you will make it clear to her that unless she provides you with some contact details your current flirtation has no future.

You do still want to fuck her, though, so don’t become unpleasant. Instead, invent an amusing reason why she may not have given you her number and tease her with the possibility.

Here is an example:

“Hi Karen – Thanks for your last message. I’ve got to admit, I’ve only just realized what’s going on with you. I’m really embarrassed by how long it’s taken me to click that your phone’s been cut off! But you shouldn’t feel ashamed if you’re having money troubles – if you’d only told me I would have brought round soup and a portable radio to keep you going! Well, if I can be of any help to you in this troubled time, let me know; I’d gladly buy you a coffee some weekend. You’re in my thoughts, -Rob”

What to do if there’s still no response
Unfortunately, there are some women out there who simply will not give you their number. There is no way to spot them in advance, and we all encounter one from time to time.

Some of them are married women who have no intention of cheating on their husbands, but do get a kick out of male attention. Others love email flirtations and cyber-sex, but lack the courage to meet a man in person. Whatever her reasons, do not waste any more time pursuing her.

Adult Friend Finder is crawling with horny women who genuinely do want to meet up with a guy who knows how to approach them and make them feel comfortable enough to actually have sex. If you have been unlucky enough to talk to a tease this time, cease contact with her and move on. There are plenty more women on, so move on and find somebody new to pursue.


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After You Received Her First E-Mail...

What many men forget is that every woman is different. This means that every email you send needs to be different, too. If you’re corresponding with a lot of girls it can seem easier to fall into the habit of copying and pasting standard chunks of text but, believe me, personalizing your messages will be an awful lot more effective.

If your messages have become a little generic of late, give yourself some inspiration by working through the template below.

The Opening Paragraph

Always thank a woman for her email. She is just as keen to make a good impression as you are and probably spent hours composing the perfect reply. Acknowledging her efforts will make her feel instantly appreciated.

Show that you’ve read her message by commenting upon specific details. Your aim is build up a short term rapport and to have her associate you with happy times, so look for upbeat topics and cheerful details you can remark upon. If she loves her job, ask about it. If she has a hobby she’s fascinated by, show an interest. If the only positive thing she says is that she was happy to hear from you, focus upon it by telling her you’re glad you could make her smile.

Here are some examples:

“I love the immediacy of a good photograph – is there a website where I can see your pictures?”

“I’ve got to admit, I’ve never tried windsurfing, but after hearing you talk about it I’m tempted to give it a go!”

Keep Her Interested

Don’t give away too much too soon. An air of mystery will keep her intrigued and curiosity will keep her coming back for more.

That’s not to say that you shouldn’t tell her anything. If she asks you questions, there’s no need to avoid answering them but do keep the details vague, and you don’t have to answer all of them. Giving her some idea of your hobbies and interests allows her to build up a clearer mental image of the man she is talking to, and this will put her at ease. However, going into great detail about how and when you developed an interest in rally biking or describing how far through your current video game you are is unlikely to hold her attention. Keep your details brief.

Here are some examples:

“Sure, I miss the warmer weather, but this city feels like home – and you can’t get a better bagel anywhere.”

“I played in a few bands when I was younger, but these days I drum just for fun.”

A Personal Touch

If you run a website, give her the link. Whether you publish serious social commentary or downright silly cartoons, letting her browse through the archives will help to build a rapport. Until now she has only known you as a potentially strange man on AFF; seeing the evidence of what’s important to you will allow her to think of you as a much more rounded individual.

However there are some provisos. If you’re a member of a social networking site like MySpace, don’t give her the details. It’s likely your page includes links to various friends and family members, so don’t run the risk of her deciding to get in touch with them. Also, avoid giving her the address of your personal blog – there are some things that she does not need to know.

Signing Off

If you want to meet this woman you’re going to have to get her phone number, and the second email is the perfect time to ask for it.

Many women are reluctant to give their personal contact details to men they meet on the internet, but unless you can establish off- line contact with her all you’re ever going to be is pen friends. Avoid putting her under overt pressure to give you her phone number. If she feels that you’re being pushy, she is likely to back away. Instead, suggest it subtly and give her a good reason to take a chance.

Here are some examples:

“I’m going to be really busy this week and might not manage to check my emails – how about I give you a ring some evening instead?”

“My brother lives in your part of town and I’m meeting him Saturday. Could I give you a call in the morning and we could maybe grab a quick drink?”

And Finally

Look at how she ended her email to you and mimic it. If she signed off with a “bye” or an “all the best”, copy her. If she included a couple of kisses, do the same. She is unlikely to realize that you’re actually imitating her, but on a subconscious level will feel more comfortable with you because of it.


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Choosing Profile Picture to MAX Adult Finder Part-2

Your Adult Friend Finder profile picture is one of the most important factors which influences on your profile. It’s true that you should not to look like Bruce Willis to get laid using Adult Friend Finder, but you do should be aware what a woman think about attractiveness. Let`s clear that what a woman finds attractive is the keyword here. And yet so many buddies get it completely wrong.

In the Right Picture for Your Adult Friend Finder Profile – Part 1 I told you about the the 5 profile image “NO” rules that could make your life harder on Adult Friend Finder. This time I’m going to tell you about my super secret to Get Max from Adult Finder by just your profile picture.

Without getting deep into the psychology of female attraction “let’s just agree that a woman gets turned on and curious not by bare flesh but by confidence, self assuredness and success.” David DeAngelo. So how do you show all this in a picture? Well, it’s not as tough as you might think. Here are my secret steps for choosing the right main profile picture for Adult Friend Finder.

STEP 1:
You want to find about 5 - 8 pictures to start with. Choose pictures where you are:

• surrounded by good looking, smiling people (the main thing is you are the center of attn in a group of good looking, well-dressed people)

• you are doing something interesting like a driving or sport or playing the guitar (but women still have to see you and your face clearly)

• you are dressed up going out with friends for examples at a club (the message is you have a life of your own and you look good living it)

You just have to make sure that the image shows you smiling, shows you either dressed up elegantly or casual cool and that demonstrates that you have you own life and friends. Those MySpace solo photos of you taking a picture of yourself from some sort of odd angle – like holding the photo camera above your head, or pictures where you are alone in you room are definite losers. Don’t even trying with them

STEP 2:
Take those 4-7 pictures that you have chosen form the previous step and post them on the web-site hotornot.com. What happens there is that people rate your photos and after about a 7 days you can be sure which one of your photos is the most attractive to women.

Signing up and using the website is totally free, so you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain. This is piece of free Internet marketing testing and when big companies usually pay big bucks for this sort of thing. And did I mention that you get it totally free? Plus, the site also acts as a dating portal too. But I have never really trying it (why go through all these just to know somebody who might not be interested in sex at all, when I can find thousands of open minded women on Adult Friend Finder?)

STEP 3:
Simply post the image rated number one on hotornot.com as you main profile picture on Adult Friend Finder. Another piece of advice: always have several pictures at hotornot.com and check the score monthly. Change out your main profile picture every two months with the top rated image.

Finally, you can choose one specific image and not bother with changing your profile picture more. Personally, I go on changing of pictures regularly, simply because I always seem fresh and new to the people I’m socializing with.

So now you might have got the perfect profile picture on your Adult Friend Finder account.



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Choosing Profile Picture to MAX Adult Finder

One of the main things to get MAX from Adult Friend Finder is to make potential sex partners to view your profile. But before we can begin to get people to your own little space of Adult Friend Finder you should have already had a hot profile. As against common online dating services, your Adult Friend Finder profile will be much more closely reviewed. So it has to be a clearly presentation that impress confidence, produce mystery and interest and in the best of angle already allows you to make a sense of trust – critical in making sexual attraction.

That’s a difficult to create an online profile page, but if you decide what to concentrate on and if you get to it systematically for sure you will get success, not just one time (maybe luckily) but again and again. This series of articles will try to guide you thru the main Adult Friend Finder profile stuff that you should have perfect tuned if you really have decided to start attract a lots of sex partners. That is what all this for!

Your Adult Friend Finder profile image is one of the most important influencing factors on your profile. Its fact, you don’t need to look like Bruce Willis to get laid using Adult Friend Finder service, but you do should be aware what a woman think about attractiveness. Let`s clear that what a woman finds attractive is the keyword here. And yet so many buddies get it completely wrong.

Well we start by looking at the 5 profile image “Not” rules:

1. Not has a cock photo as your main picture – I can’t understand those guys that think that a picture of their penis is really all women want to get excited. I suppose these guys think that because they would get aroused by nude photos of a woman that the same could be true of women as well. It’s wrong. If you don’t trust me, make up two exactly the same profiles, but with two different images, one with your face and the other with your penis and see what happens. Save you the time and money, I tried by myself and got so better results with the face images that have decided never even consider posting a penis only picture again.

2. Not post a shirt off image as your main picture - you will not be taken seriously, even thought you’ve got Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body from 30 years ago. I do suggest posting a few body pictures in your gallery, but not as your main picture. Women don’t take man seriously on common dating sites with the shirt off and nude picture and they don’t take you seriously on Adult Friend Finder as well. And more, have a look about at other men profiles on Adult Friend Finder, and then try to stand out from others.

3. Not post glamour photos or other professional photos as your main profile picture – Adult Friend Finder is not an almanac, you are not employee of the year and this is not CV. You’ll immediately be out as a dork. Goodbye hot threesome with the Russian exchange student and her Ukraine friend!

4. Not post your photo with other woman who is not going to be playing together with you on Adult Friend Finder. You probably think that it is a cool, but you are not only breaking the law by showing her picture without permission but you are also may be misunderstood: ”Look I’ve posted the picture of a ex-friend, I don’t respect woman!”

5. Not post your photo with cut out someone standing right next to you - It just looks lousy. Are you so ugly looking that you don’t have another picture to post? That’s how you look posting a “cut off” picture.

You might think, “Well, Mr. Know-it-All, what kind of main profile image should I post, if I’m not supposed to post a picture of my cock?” Without getting deep into the psychology of female attraction “let’s just agree that a woman gets turned on and curious not by bare flesh but by confidence, self assuredness and success.” David DeAngelo.


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